Would I?

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I came across this picture today and it got me to thinking. I hadn’t intended to write about this question today, but fate had other plans for my writing, I suppose.

I considered the question for  some time. Torn between the mental list of pros and cons. As honestly as I could, I ticked off negative habits and personality traits. I did this first because on the bright side no matter how bad it is the pro-list was something to look forward to. Since I am over-analytical the list was getting quite long. So, as not to bruise my poor little ego, I decided to list the pros. Oddly enough this list was considerably harder to make.

What does one really like about themselves? Is it really truth or just our own personal perception of who we are. I believe   I am funny but my humor is a bit sarcastic which is offensive to some. I think I keep a neat home even if I am not endowed with the financial means to live like others I know but, yet again, maybe this could be misconstrued as a side effect of my OCD diagnosis. I think I am strong, however, I have a tendency to show strength through stoicism and not through out-right honest vulnerability. I think I am a decent cook, but lament over my inability to buy and eat locally and organically due to cost. I think I am well-intentioned even though it may not seem so because I often over-emotional. I  think I am a good friend; up for talking, outings, laughing, and empathizing but lately I look about and find no friends in the true sense, so of course this makes me negate the good friend pro. I am generally an honest person but once again I recall that my delivery can really suck.

With a sigh I thought, “This could go on all day, me negating every pro with its opposing con.”

I decided in the end to chuck the mental list and just keep being me. I believe in change, growth, and evolving self. So it makes no difference if I would like me if I met me because who I was yesterday is not who I am today or will be tomorrow. I figure the friends I am  to have will find me and stay, and the ones who have come and gone are no longer needed on my path of change, growth, self evolution.

The one thing I did realize though is that I, faults and all, am worthy of people liking me and if they don’t then I am not missing out, they are because beneath my exterior  lays divine chaos and anything from the divine is treasured, at least by me if not others. So, yeah, I would and do like me.

~DivineChaos

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